Seeking Inspirato with Heather in Tucson, Arizona

Heather, sitting on her Austin-Healey (named Sheila), in front of a mural made by Sean Cannon at Chris Mooney’s photography studio.

What are your favorite kinds of cuts? Why?

A high-waisted pencil skirt smooths out my middle and shows off my curves. And I’ve noticed that I suddenly have swagger whenever I wear wide-legged pants.

What are your favorite colors? The ones that you feel make your skin pop?

I feel sunny when I wear aquas, pinks and purples. I hit my quota of wearing all black many moons ago and now I have a hard time wearing it.

Favorite materials? Why?

Comfortable fabrics, such a medium jersey, are the best. A little stretch, not too sheer, doesn’t easily show sweat, doesn’t make swishy sounds when my thighs rub together...

What do you feel most comfortable in, while feeling Clothing Confident, and why?

I like that perfect balance between not too clingy or too loose. Show curves, but don’t squeeze them so much that nothing is left to the imagination.

Heather’s a fearless woman.

During a routine check up as a kid, Heather’s pediatrician remarked that her green and red socks didn’t match one another, but little did he know, the miniature spitfire would respond without missing a beat.

“Yes they do—the green one goes with the leaves [on her shirt] and the red goes with the red flowers.”

A Doctor’s Visit

When in your life did you first begin to notice clothing? 

If “spunk” were a person, it’d be Heather. She is a bright, energetic, quick wit who expresses herself at every opportunity—from house and home, to clothing, to what she drives around Tucson (yes, that’s her Austin-Healey, Sheila, in the photos). She lives a 360* stylish lifestyle, with all aspects being Heatherized. 

Therefore, it didn’t come as a surprise to me that her first memories associated with clothing were ones where she took a stand for her personal style choices. 

To properly introduce you to Heather’s character, let’s begin with an otherwise mundane visit to the doctor.

“I've always been pretty fearless, even as a child, with clothing, always very colorful.”

During a routine check up as a kid, Heather’s pediatrician remarked that her green and red socks didn’t match one another, but little did he know, the miniature spitfire would respond without missing a beat.

“Yes they do—the green one goes with the leaves [on her shirt] and the red goes with the red flowers.”

The doctor responded with an “you’re absolutely right” and the visit proceeded as usual.

Imagine this tiny little blonde thing, whose hair was more chartreuse from an entire summer spent swimming, telling Dr. Fashion Police about Clothing Confidence. 

Of course, we don’t all go through life with such a resilient “tell it like it is” attitude as Heather illustrated as a youth. Our confidence ebbs and flows as we bob through life, have kids, change pant sizes, and more. 

We all experience confident, and not-so-confident, seasons throughout our lives.

But what’s important is that we reflect and draw on the wellspring of our confident moments, especially when we feel we’re in a trough. Heather has exemplified choosing confidence over and over again in her life. Let me share that with you. 

Remember ESPRIT from the 80s and 90s? Well, Heather couldn’t afford the real deal, so she painted the logo on a white shirt.

“I felt so uber-cool in my handmade knock-off.”

Bootleg Merchandise

Where did you get your clothing growing up?

Heather and her three sisters were raised by their dad. Growing up in a single-father household, Heather received hand-me-downs from her older sisters. 

Anyone who has received hand-me-downs knows the pain. Heather was a string bean kid, tall and skinny, but her sisters had more athletic builds. Nothing fit right. 

Heather’s dad would sweetly put darts in the waist of the hand-me-downs so that they fit Heather ...better. They were still a few inches short, but at least they weren’t falling down. 

This is around the time when Heather began exploring creativity through clothing. This, by the way, is a theme among most of the Clothing Confident women I meet: creativity and resourcefulness. 

Remember ESPRIT from the 80s and 90s? Well, Heather couldn’t afford the real deal, so she painted the logo on a white shirt.

“I felt so uber-cool in my handmade knock-off.”

Heather’s handmade bootleg was en vogue. During the same time period, Dapper Dan was printing Gucci, Fendi, and Louis Vuitton logos onto his own leather and creating brand new designs for the rich and famous from his studio in Harlem (see Diane Dixon). 

Heather was a trailblazer on many fashion fronts—she gave a presentation in her high school public speaking class about the benefits of thrifting. This was way before thrifting was cool.

How Do You Collect and Curate?

I was curious how a free spirit like Heather ponders the act of curation. As you might expect, she doesn’t sweat the small stuff.

“It’s a risk, you take a chance, but you don’t care enough to let it bother you.”

There are pieces I own that I’d gladly take the money back I spent on them, but I learned by acquiring them. 

Don’t drag yourself through the mud if the blouse you purchased didn’t end up being as versatile in your wardrobe as you may have hoped. You’ll do better next time, and you’ll get better at curating your wardrobe because of it.

What’s worse than collecting pieces you don’t love? The opposite, of course.

Not curating. 

Not experimenting.

Not finding things you love. 

Heather did a lot of experimentation with clothing while growing into her Clothing Confidence.

Once when she was a teenager, she painted a pair of men’s boxers that she thought were so hip. 

“No one in the world had that pair of men’s painted underwear! I loved them and knew they were one-of-a-kind.”

Heather’s former fiancé remarked, “Oh, you’re going to wear those out?” in reference to a pair of permanent marker and painted jeans Heather created. 

“I remember thinking, ‘that’s not ok that he said that.’”

Damn straight, and that’s why he’s her former fiancé. By the way, she ended up making a pretty penny when she sold them on eBay several years later.

I love that Heather prioritized her confidence and self-expression over someone’s opinion. This can be hard to do, particularly if you’re naturally a people pleaser who dislikes ruffling feathers, or if you’re someone who is reluctant to admit someone has hurt your feelings...me. 

An illustration of some pants Heather painted.

Hurtful, degrading, and even seemingly small comments like this one from Heather’s ex-fiancé, chip away at our confidence to self-express. Repeat after me: no one else gets to define the way YOU express yourself! It’s completely appropriate to say, “I don’t appreciate that comment” to someone second-guessing your look. OWN your confidence. Prioritize it!

And if you experiment and take risks, you’ll make someone’s day more interesting. It’s fun to go out into the world and notice what color combinations, patterns and fabrics creative people adorn themselves with. 

All of the homes pictured were designed and built by Heather’s husband, Tom.

Style is Storytelling

“I like it when your clothes tell a story and have memories associated with where you got them or where you wore them.”

Things don't have to match each other perfectly. You don't want your home to look like it was just ripped out of a Pottery Barn catalog (no hate to Pottery Barn).

We can tell when someone has copied a design from a showroom because the style is so matchy-matchy. It’s too perfect. 

Plus, they don’t have stories to go with each item. Like your interior decorations, you want your style to be a conversation starter. What’s the backstory? 

I bought this dress in Greece...

I found this scarf on Etsy from an amazing seller…

My super-talented friend made this necklace for me...

“You don't want to walk into someone's home and be like, ‘oh, they shop there’—and same thing with an outfit. You don’t want to buy something exactly off the rack—how they had the earrings and the hat on the mannequin. You want to find your own hat and your own earrings. You want to make it more of a gathering of things, a collection of memories.”

What Heather is talking about is personality, and personality cannot be purchased. People who are in the business of creating personality (from StitchFix to interior decorators) are only providing you with a derivative style that already exists, mixed with their own personality. It’s not your style unless you develop it. 

Does it take time and effort? Yes, and this is why I think people often outsource it.

“Taste is not in any way related to the amount of money you have.”

Taste is developed by the individual, and that’s what makes it so priceless. Style is the culmination of experiences, people, tragedies, and years of experimentation.

On Confidence Consistency

“It’s not like feeling confident happens 100% of the time by any means…I definitely have those days where I look in the mirror and I go, ‘Wahhhh! What happened to the skinny little girl?’ But I’ve embraced my curves more. It’s like, ‘Yeah, I’ve had 2 kids. Yeah, I’m well-fed.’”

Heather lives the emotionally stable “embrace it” lifestyle. Her body has helped her achieve miracles. She’s an ardent hiker (& even hosts an AirBnB hiking experience), she has two daughters, and she’s in good health. 

“I’ve embraced being a woman and having a woman’s body—but it took a little while to get there.”

Our bodies change over time. It’s inevitable. Pregnancy and postpartum are probably the most transformative bodily experiences a woman will go through. But what other option do we have than to be grateful? We must be thankful for our bodies and all they’ve done for us! 

Instead of pinching our love muffins, or wishing away cellulite, what are three things you’re grateful for about your body?

1. [thing 1]

2. [thing 2]

3. [thing 3]

“These legs that have cellulite have hiked the Grand Canyon from rim to rim. I’m strong and healthy, and that’s what I need to focus on.”

If you can learn to feel grateful for your body, every day, you may just learn that you want to adorn it.

Remember the last time you were sick, and how great you felt when you got over it?  How you wanted to go out and experience the world again and how you realized how much you took your health for granted? Don’t. Take. Your. Health. For. Granted. Ever.

How to Be Objective About Your Outfits

Heather had an art professor who gave her a piece of advice on perspective, style, and aesthetic: 

“Turn your canvas upside down, and take a look at it. Then, you're not seeing it for the subject matter; you’re seeing it for the balance and the composition.”

How can we approach this kind of perspective shift with our outfits? 

There’s a reason why stylists snap Polaroids of their clients before they send them out on the red carpet. They’re looking for how the piece fits and frames their client’s body, plus how it looks on film. 

You can do the same thing!

If you’re getting prepared for an event and have some time to problem solve the perfect outfit:

1. Options: Pull a few selections from your wardrobe. 

2. Snap Photos: Take a photo of each. (Use the self timer on your camera, go full body, and use good lighting.)

3. Edit: How should you change it? Hair up? Different makeup? More jewelry?

4. Edit x2: Come back to it after a few days and see what else you’d change.

Having a good mirror is CRITICAL to the process of creating a great outfit.

Make sure the mirror isn’t a “skinny mirror” and is located next to natural light. Also make sure the mirror is 100% straight up against the wall because any sort of angle will create an illusion. (A mirror tilted forward will make you look shorter and stouter, while a mirror leaned back will make you look longer and leaner...neither is a good situation when trying to objectively judge an outfit.)

Pandemic Revelations: The Chicken or the Egg

“I do find a correlation to how I feel...how I look and my mood.”

A curling iron, lipstick, and a bra with underwire can do wonders for our confidence.

“Since I look more put together, I feel more put together, and therefore I'm more productive because of it.”

A ho-hum feeling about our appearance translates into the work we do.

It all goes back to how you want to feel. It’s a cyclical process, like the chicken and the egg. 

“Which came first: the good mood and confidence, or the cute outfit and lip gloss?”

BRILLIANT EXAMPLE. Thank you, Heather!