Seeking Inspirato with Lindsay in Buffalo, New York
Lindsay is the girl to kick off the Clothing Confidence 365+ Tour — my pilgrimage across these United States to find style where it lives.
I met this month’s feature at Remedy House in the Five Points neighborhood of Buffalo, NY. In Lindsay I found the quintessential Nickel City Girl. Her forearm tattoo says it all — she is cool style and hometown pride in one package.
Her journey to her Dynamic Personal Style, which she calls, “classic with an edge,” did not happen overnight. The fact that she is able to own the way she shows up in the world, fully, even after battling depression and unhealthy habits for years, is an amazing story, but it is a peak that could not have happened without a valley or two.
I think what we can all relate to in Lindsay is the fact that metamorphosis and resilience are essential ingredients to baking our personalities. We do not arrive confident, successful, and styled. We have to work to get there.
Lindsay’s forearm tattoo says it all — she is cool style and hometown pride in one package.
For the Love of Buffalo
Busy doesn’t begin to describe Lindsay:
“I thrive when I’m the busiest ... Give me all the projects.”
Lindsay founded and runs a blogging collective, hosts the “When’s Food?” podcast with three hungry friends, makes her own jewelry out of chainmail, and should get the key to the city for her work promoting local businesses through her Nickel City Pretty blog and accompanying interview series of local business owners.
“I started my blog seven years ago to prove to people that [Buffalo] is more than just snow and chicken wings.”
She convinced me!
Lindsay’s chainmail bracelet she made herself. Find more of her work on Copper & Steel Chainmail.
Originally, Lindsay thought she’d blog about fashion around her city but soon pivoted to writing that celebrated all things local in her hometown. The blog was everything. Started back in 2013 when there were only about five bloggers paying homage to Buffalo, her work got her a job offer with the city’s tourism board, and she became an official member of their “Tweet Team,” directing visitors and locals to the must-see spots in the Queen City.
Lindsay’s love for her city is infectious:
“Most of the people that live here are very passionate about living here. Buffalonians are very hearty people and they’re proud to be here … and it’s not just ‘cause The Bills!”
This heartiness is most observable in her interview series with local business owners, Nickel City Gritty. In an activist move against corporate homogeneity, Lindsay’s interviews showcase the hearty Buffalonians that make her city distinct:
“Small businesses are what make a city a city.”
But if you’re thinking that Lindsay’s assertive, self-made story is unattainable, know that it grew out of seemingly infertile ground. Her teenage fashion sense vacillated between the most extreme of millennium-era style trends, while the years around high school were bookended by struggles with her size and depression.
Lindsay and I met at Remedy House in Buffalo, New York for a social distanced coffee.
A High School Metamorphosis
Most of us look back at high school as a time where we yearned for conformity and felt a desperate need to blend in with those around us. And while Lindsay’s high school wardrobe choices definitely reflect the era’s trends, her ability to shift between, switch to, and dabble in different trends is truly singular.
“In high school ... I tried to reinvent myself every year.”
Lindsay doesn’t describe herself as trying to be someone else in high school. Her “personality was the same” but she was “trying to find [herself] through clothing.”
As Lindsay remembers it,
“The first year, I was trying to get in with the skater crowd, so I wore big JNCO pants and shopped at PacSun.”
Her fashion choices then became devoted to the post-punk fashion codified in that bygone influencer, the Delia*s catalog. Her style shifted again:
“Then I was Hot Topic … plastic pants ...the most uncomfortable pants ever that ma[de] a squeaking noise when you walked … terrible ...”
Naturally, her love for The Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and The Spice Girls had implications for her wardrobe:
“I wanted to be a Spice Girl, so I bought the platform sneakers.”
Lindsay then embraced a glitter-filled glam phase where she went tanning and wore Playboy Bunny tanks to complement her tanning tattoo.
Finally, her senior year was all Abercrombie, American Eagle, denim skirts and Ugg Boots — an early aughts prep as she transitioned from high school to college.
Lindsay’s teenage experimentation with clothing reflects a joy with apparel that we celebrate... even as we cringe a little at the actual choices.
If you don’t twirl in it, do you really love it?
It’s a reminder that every body positive and authentic decision we make with clothing (including plastic pants) brings us one step closer towards Clothing Confidence and living authentically with our Dynamic Personal Style.
Personal style and tastes change, that’s why I call it Dynamic Personal Style. But Clothing Confidence is an unwavering love and respect for yourself that will stand the test of time.
So, if you like what you’re wearing, don’t judge yourself in the moment, or fear that you'll judge yourself later. Let all of that go and embrace your current Clothing Confidence and style desires.
Live in the moment.
As you may have picked up, Clothing Confidence is a journey (overused word, but appropriate here). One’s journey towards Clothing Confidence is rarely only characterized by joy.
Weights
Lindsay’s journey to becoming the vibrant young woman she is today was saddled with the twin forces of negative body image and depression.
“I have struggled with body image my entire life .... It’s ingrained from when I was a child.”
Then, a little over a decade ago, after losing the weight from childhood, she gained everything back. With the weight, came the depression.
“I gained 45 pounds. And that put me into the depression ... I couldn’t wear anything in my closet. I [was] trying to disappear into clothes.”
For Lindsay, clothes were not the fun metamorphosis of discovery that they were in high school. Rather, clothing became a way to cloak her body from the world and from herself. Her dissatisfaction with her life, though, did not begin and end with her own body.
“I was in a place where I was kind of in a depression ... I was in a job that I hated. Everything was working against me ... and I was like, well I don’t really have any hobbies or things going on ...”
What readers who have never experienced depression may not understand is how it affects every aspect of life. Weight and depression, job satisfaction and depression, social life and depression, clothing and depression — these were all linked together for Lindsay.
“I was ashamed. I just gained a bunch of weight because I [was] in a depression, and I [was] ashamed about it, and I [didn’t] want to go anywhere, and I just want[ed] to hide. I just felt like garbage — physically felt like garbage and mentally felt like garbage. And for a couple years, I was like why can’t I get out of this space? I took everything in my power to try to fix it and get back into a healthy [place].”
And if you have never endured a depressive period of life, it is hard to empathize with those who have. Even Lindsay’s own mother can’t fully decipher her daughter’s depression. In an interview from earlier this year, Lindsay talked about her struggle with depression. Her otherwise supportive mother mentioned, “I don’t like you saying that you were depressed.” Lindsay responds,
“But I was! And I feel like that’s something people need to talk about because social media is a highlight reel and people need to know that real people suffer through these things no matter how much they look like they got their shit together.”
Taking the Buffalo By Its Horns
Following her passions got her to the other side of her depression (reminds me a bit of Kineatra’s story). Once the fog began lifting in one aspect of her life, it cleared in others:
“I was always interested in writing … and then I started my blog, I got a job that I loved. I did social media for one of our local malls, and [I was] like, ‘This is cool.’ Being around the stores all day, talking to all the people that run the stores … I bought a lot of clothes. That gave me more fuel to feel better about myself and dress better and work through any issues I was having.”
She resolved to get healthy:
“I reached a point and [I was] like, “That’s it. I’m done. I need to get healthy. So I lost the weight. I started exercising. I felt good about myself again. Now, I need[ed] to find my style back again. So it was a whole other journey to find out, ‘Ok, what do I look good in? How do I find myself?’ My blog was a catalyst to doing that … that was the rise of Instagram. I was like, ‘If I’m gonna be on the Internet showing what I’m wearing, I have to feel confident and feel good about myself.’”
As the mist lifted, Lindsay could see the rest of her life more clearly. She forged connections, set and achieved goals, and built a life that was emotionally fulfilling. Once her inner life was healthier, she could turn towards a revival of her outer style, hunting for new clothes and evaluating how to present herself and her garments in the visual mediums she trafficked in.
Lindsay and the 4C’s
CUT
“My waist is my smallest part, so I always go for A-line dresses, high-waisted jeans are the best ... Why did I ever wear low-rise jeans in high school?”
COLOR
“I love white in the summertime when I have a tan and dark hair. I used to have blue hair, so a lot of colors clashed with that. I got rid of it because I wanted to wear red lipstick again. So it was about finding my colorings and finding clothes that matched to that.”
CLOTH
“I always like denim jackets. They are the best thing to throw on and make an outfit.”
COMFORT
“I’m at the point where I want to throw out all my skinny jeans and only wear boyfriend fit because … they’re way more comfortable.”
See the chainmail facemask accessory Lindsay made? I got one, too. Find them at Copper & Steel Chainmail.
Final Thoughts: Quarantine and Confidence
The coronavirus pandemic has claimed lives, mental health, and routine as we know it. Tens of millions of U.S. workers have been laid off from their jobs, and regrettably, Lindsay counts herself among them.
This year has been hard. However, the Buffalo Blogger has great recommendations for cultivating a more positive headspace to cope with the exacting times we are living in. Try some of the tips below to keep sane while cooped in:
Have a daily routine.
Get up and put on an outfit (not tie-dyed sweatpants … more than once a week.)
Do your makeup and hair.
Go to a coffee shop and sit outside.
Do yoga or exercise a little bit every day.
Get enough water.
Eat good food.
Know what makes you feel like you, and do that thing!
Listen to podcasts.
Listen to music
Make something (Lindsay makes jewelry, but you can paint, write, embroider, refinish a table, whatever inspires you!)
Find a purpose and fulfill it.
Go to a park for a long hike.
Take little road trips.
Try to feel exhausted before you go to bed.
That last one was a real eye-opener! Maybe you aren’t sleeping well because you don’t feel tired! Remember how packed our days used to be? Tire yourself out before you climb under the comforter.
I love how Lindsay’s advice speaks to the benefits of habits and how these habits can translate into self-care. While in some ways the decline in image obsession has been liberating (Ok, PJs to work!), I sometimes worry about the people I see on Zoom meetings. I’ve asked myself, “Did they brush their hair today?” and it ultimately makes me wonder if they’re actually doing okay.
During quarantine, jeggings and a deoderlantness armpit is not a way to show up for yourself. As stay-at-home orders and remote work stretch into the fall and winter, not taking care of yourself will hurt your self-image.
Often we think of taking care of ourselves as narcissistic, but it really isn’t. If you aren’t feeling like yourself these days, try to reclaim some of your habits from your pre-Covid life, and thank Lindsay for the advice!
THANK YOU to Lindsay for your thoughts and amazing vulnerability 🥺 We are blessed to know your history 🥰
xoxo - Maddison